Holy Crane Graffiti!

Well this is a pretty insane perspective. Who wants to work on broken cranes? I'm really happy these guys weren't too busy crapping their pants as I would have been and decided to take some photos for the world to see. If you took these photos, please let me know so I can give you credit and a high-five for having a huge pair of brass ones. Thanks to Mike Cane for this photo this tourist probably regrets taking.

American Psycho Listing Graffiti

If Patrick Bateman were a real estate listing, he would be this one.

There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me.



Only an entity-- something illusory.



And though I can hide my cold gaze...



and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours...



and may be you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable,



I simply am not there.

Denim Graffiti

I can't keep it in. This service is absolutely amazing. I tend to blow the crotch out of every single pair of pants that I own, which always results in them being unwearable, but when you're dropping good money on denim, you don't just throw them out.


Before.


After.

Denim Therapy. Amazing.

Rick Sanctorum/NYT Graffiti

Wow, Ms. Dowd, that was quite the Freudian slip, or unintended-intended pun, or whatever you want to classify it as. If it wasn't intentional, it just shows that the NYT doesn't care about editing or fact-checking anymore (To see where this chip on my shoulder comes from, click here for the un-researched article, and then here for the accurate one).

Although, I'm thinking it might be intentional because of the lead in to this article.



Go ahead. Google 'Santorum.' It's pure filth, even by my standards, and if you've ever read this blog, you know my filth tolerance is really high.

Kennebunkport Graffiti!

Amazing, Microsoft. You just fucking nailed it in two words.

Kennebunkport.

Outspokenness. Drunkenness.

Ted Danson Graffiti

Amazing. Good find, Welcome to my Nightmare!

Never going to be gentrified graffiti!

I look at every real estate listing that comes on the market every day in Brooklyn to see if anything looks investment worthy. No exaggeration. Every. Single. One.

Today however, I began to question my objectivity when I noticed that the most popular real estate resource in New York has a spelling error on its map!

I looked everywhere for 'Carnarsie' but even Google corrected my spelling. When I forced the spelling on Google, I found the Foursquare checkin. That is when I realized, that StreetEasy doesn't have a spelling problem, Canarsie has a spelling problem.



Check it out, 'Carnarsie' is so hood that my avatar is even wearing a doo rag!

If you ever dare to visit, look for Foursquare Mayor of 'Carnarsie' Benny Blanco. He'll give you the lowdown on where to eat.

Super Troopers Graffiti

The Burlington Free Press broke a story about how an inmate pulled a fast one on the Vermont State Troopers by making one of the spots on the cow that's part of their logo (no comment) into a pig.

"State Police Sgt. Michael Roj, a traffic safety supervisor in Southern Vermont, is credited with the eagle eye. 'I was on my way to Shenanigan's and it just leaped of the cruiser.' He alerted the fleet management garage."

While the State Police Spokesperson Stephanie Dasaro was focusing on the "extra fuel costs that meow would be incurred" while other cops thought they were just cheeky and fun shenanigans.

"'This is not as offensive meow as it would have been years ago. We meow can see the humor,' said Public Safety Commissioner Keith Flynn, as he was jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree."

While this may be funny to some, these shenanigans are going to cost the Vermont taxpayers money. A whopping $780 will have to be repaid to the state police force before Prion Industries gets upgrades to their computer system. That breaks down to about $0.00125 per resident of Vermont.

"Major William Sheets, executive officer for the Vermont State Police, said he expects his department meow be more vigilant to inspect ordered items when they arrive. 'These shenanigans are cruel and tragic, which wouldn't make them shenanigans. at all, really.' "

Rats!

Thankfully we have Curbed to document the saga that has been going on for years now at 67 Liberty Street.

However, today was an especially rowdy demonstration. Whoever decided to do a non-union development right next door to where THOUSANDS of union workers from the WTC eat lunch every day (Helmsley Plaza) really didn't have their head screwed on straight!

And just to add my two cents to the Union v. Non-Union discussion. Look at the date from this Curbed post. Almost 2 and a half years ago and this building hasn't even topped out yet. Union's not cheap, but Non-Union can get very expensive when things like this are constantly happening outside!



One of the jackasses in the building threw something out at the people in the crowd- talk about kicking a hornets nest! If there wasn't such a huge police presence across the street because of OWS at Zucotti, I don't know what could have happened! Hope you guys brought your lunch, because I don't think you're leaving any time soon!

Bleecker St/MTA Subway Graffiti

Transcript:

Hippy: (circle around $133 million) Are you serious S-H-A-M-E! You could save hundreds of thousands of lives in Africa or give a shelter to homeless in NYC!!! The Anonymous

Not Hippy: (arrow to 52,000 daily customers) Hippies don't do math It'll only take 5.26 years to benefit 100,000,000 people in New York. BETTER ROI.

I will have to say, a statement with figures tends to make a more convincing argument than one without.

Nice Jelly Jars!

The glass fixtures which serve the same purpose as these temporary electrical fixtures on construction sites are called Jelly Jars. I doubt the irony was lost on this artist, who was likely an electrician.

I love it! Nice find LL.

Honey, would you go out back and check on dinner?

Get the hell out! This brings a whole new meaning to galley kitchen!

Okay- sort of cool use of space with the fridge built into the bar. Also interesting use of space with the compact dishwasher coming out of the side, but look at the STOVE!

Assuming those are 3.5" floorboards, you can see 6 of them before the edge of the stove. That's 21" between the wall and the stove, completely preventing you from ever opening it. Thanksgiving dinner? No problem. Just open the oven and feed that turkey in through the window!

Makes the sink area at 28" look pretty fucking comfy, doesn't it?!

Let us just hope that my assumptions are correct and these are 3.5" boards and not smaller.

I pray that the future owners never have a fire, particularly in their broiler on the bottom.

Gang Green!

Or maybe gangrene. Looks like someone didn't want to risk having that that awkward off-season conversation.



Yup, that one.

Yesterday, Callahan and Ellard. Today, Schottenheimer.